20 February 2012

# babies # family

It’s Official

No more babies for us! Sad isn’t it!?! 2 is enough, at least that’s what I keep being told. Hailey is 4 months already. They grow so quickly, that I know it’s why I keep wanting to have more. They are only truly dependent you for about 12 weeks, then they are holding their head up, seeing the world. Not that she still doesn’t need me for food, to be changed, and she can’t speak yet, but mothers know what I mean. At 12 weeks that new born is gone. You have this little person that is figuring out the world.
When I first got pregnant with Ava, I knew I wanted 2 children, knew I wanted them close in age, and knew that I would be overwhelmed by it all but do it. When I got pregnant with Hailey and was miserable and sick for all of the 9 months, I still said 3 would be nice. I kept being told by my wonderful husband, 2 is enough. That is the song he keeps singing.       
Now here we are, Hailey is 17 weeks old, and its official, there will be no more babies from this Bowers family. I guess we will leave it up to the other 2 Bowers boys. My heart is sad. I never saw myself with a big family, maybe no children at all until I met Kenny. When we began dating, all my views of parenthood changed. I had not really wanted children until at least the age of 30. I wanted to work.
 I met Kenny at age 21; I wasn’t quite ready for children at that point. As we continued to date and to get to know each other, I knew he would be a great husband and a better father.  In 2007 my niece Emily was born and I wanted a kid. She was the most precious little thing I had ever seen. It amazed me that I had felt her in my sister’s stomach then here she was.
So I started bugging Kenny, wanted to get married, needed to get married, so we could start having babies. He, as usual, does everything in his own time, he kept telling me he wasn’t ready and no we weren’t getting married anytime soon.  I had set a date for 2008, told him it was a great year to get married and start our life together. We both had good jobs and we were awesome as a couple. He just laughed at me. It became a thing. He would say something negative about marriage, especially in front of our already married friends, and then I would just spit out the date! Almost like he already put the ring on my finger and it was set!
He totally surprised me with a marriage proposal in 2007; I honestly didn’t think he would do it until 2008 or after. So I took a year to plan our perfect day and then started talking kids. We agreed on 2 little ones, even though I was talking 3 or 4. I told him that my sisters and I were close in age and I would love to have ours close also. He agreed.
I kept telling people while pregnant with Hailey, we are going to keep being poor until we are done. Children are expensive. It takes a lot to provide for them. We have one using formula and both are in diapers. Those 2 expenses alone are high demand in our house.
People look at me like I am crazy when I mention I wouldn’t mind another child. I always get ‘a family of 4 is what the world was made for’ ‘don’t do an odd number’ ‘you want 3 kids why?’ ‘why don’t you wait a while’ ‘you should be happy with what you got’
I am happy, I would never tell my girls, ‘I had you but I really wanted another’ OH NO I would never. I just feel in my bones that I am not done with babies.
A friend thinks that just means I will have a higher calling, maybe adoption, maybe foster care, maybe just watching friends/families children to give them a break. Kenny and I haven’t discussed any other options other than he is done with babies. He likes Ava’s age; he likes to be able to be rough playing, he likes being able to be told what they want instead of the guessing game, he likes being able to run errands and no bottle to worry about. Ava is at an age that she is very low maintenance.  She plays, most of the time she can entertain herself while you are busy with housework, she can talk clearly to have a conversation and tell you what she wants, and she eats whatever we eat.
So while we are done, I will look forward to family and friends having more, spoiling their little ones while mine are growing into independent little girls. It won’t be long before Hailey is crawling, walking, talking, and then the attitude. Ava is well into the terrible 2’s and I have been told that the 3’s are worse. Yay for us!
So no more babies for us but we are blessed, we have 2 healthy little girls that are in love with us and each other. A house full of laughter, crying, screaming, and love. No day is ever the same and there is never a dull moment. You do not use the word “Bored” when you have 2 little girls 2 years apart in the same household. If one is happy, you can bet money that the other one is either crying or mad. Probably all the reason why my husband keeps saying “No”.

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