It took about 14 hours but Kennedy Rose finally came. Missy did great. It was an experience I will never forget. I kept my word texting Jake updates and he would text me joke and meme's making me laugh. Stephen only replied with 'come home afterwards,' like I was going to a meeting. I didnt hear from him until I texted to tell him I felt gross and was going home. Granted it was 7 in the morning and he was on his way to work, I wouldnt be seeing him anyways. I called in and went home to sleep.
I woke to pictures of Kennedy Rose, updates on her and momma, and a text from Jake, "how are you doing after your long night?" I ignored all and took a shower. I wanted to clean up to go see my new baby.
"Honey, she is gorgeous." I held the baby and loved all over her. Makes me want one. By the time I left the hospital Jake had sent me a couple more texts. I hadnt responded. I didnt know where to go from here. We arent dating. Talking everyday seemed weird with my relationship status. I know he wanted more. I didnt know if I could.
I went straight to Stephen's after visiting Missy. I hadnt really talked to him in about 3 days and hadnt seen him since that last visit that we didnt talk. He's busy with a big case. He isnt talking about the case, just lots of work. I'm kinda in the mood to push buttons. Why us women get in these moods, no clue, I know its all Jake's fault. I have him breathing down my neck about a future and I have his wonderful man that barely wants to talk about plans on the weekend.
He's in his office but stops working to come to me when I arrive. I get wrapped in his arms almost immediately with his face in my hair. "So how's the new baby?" he asks.
"Shes beautiful just like her momma." He has opens the gates. I hope he knows what state of mine a woman gets in when around a new baby. "It felt great holding her. It made me start thinking about when it will be my turn. Not soon but someday." I try to not make it sound urgent but I need his thoughts. We have been together almost a year and he doesn't talk marriage or when we have kids. I know he's already done the marriage thing, but I haven't.
"That's natural." He begins kissing my neck. "So what do you want for dinner? Or you want to skip dinner?" He completely ignored my comment. I pull back.
"Stephen, I don't think I am going to stay. It's been a long 2 days and I still haven't caught up on my sleep."
"So stay here, I will wear you out and you can sleep in, tomorrow is Saturday, you have no where to be." He starts to push me towards the bedroom. I can't sleep with him. I dont know why, okay I know why. I feel like I am cheating on Jake. I am not even with him. I felt like for a year after we broke up every time I spent time with a guy. Here I am doing it all over again. But with our talk last night and the texting, it feels like he's back.
"I can't Stephen" He looks at me. I know what he's thinking. He's assuming its my time of the month because I used the word can't.