A month has gone by and I am finally back in to see this fancy lawyer my mother insisted I hire. He is expensive but supposedly the best in the area. How my mother knew about him, no clue, but she says he comes highly recommended. I bought a suit and tie just for this meeting, I pray I don't have to go to court. Shelly said she would sign the paperwork but when it is finally there in front of her, I don't know what she'll do.
It's a fancy building, lots of floors, I make my way to the 8th, where this Stephen guy is. I let his secretary know I am here and wait. Hands sweaty, heart rate up, yep that's me. I just want this meeting over. He keeps asking questions and I keep answering as best as I can. I should have brought Shelly and just had her sign as much as she could here. He's talking about meditation and counseling, all I want is a damn divorce.
He finally has me sign the paperwork saying I will pay him and that Shelly will be served with the paperwork. I am walking down the hallway towards the elevator when I hear that laugh. That laugh that belongs to my girl. I turn quickly and walk the opposite direction but don't see anyone. Damn, I do this to myself all the time. Five years and I just can't let her go.
I pick Ethan up from Shelly and go to my small apartment that is above my mom's garage. Lame, I know but I am not paying rent. I want a house. A house that Ethan can live in on his days with me and be comfortable. I know he doesn't really care where he lives but I want something worthy of this innocent kid.
It's midnight and here I am again torturing myself. Looking up all her social media accounts, all private, I can’t see a damn thing but a few pictures but I love when there's a new one to see. It's something I do very couple of months. It was worse when she was in college, tagged in pictures that for whatever reason I could see, she got to have her life. She was at parties, football games, and on campus while I was helping my wife raise our son. This is all my fault yet I still yearn for it to be fixed. I keep waiting for the day I see a guy or an announcement.