I must be crazy. No, no must about it I am. I called my mom and got Jake's address. We need to talk. I wasn't in any shape at the club a few weeks ago and then he completely shocked me at work. There was no way to get into with Stephen right there.
She informed me where he is living now and also that he wouldn't have his son. She said and I agreed that there was no reason to cause drama around his little boy. So here I am, knocking on his door. I am nervous, my hands are sweating, and there are butterflies in my belly.
He answers the door with wide eyes. I know I probably have shocked him. I have shocked myself. "Em, what are you doing here?" After what seems like hours of staring at each other he speaks.
"Um, well, I figured since you know I am close again and we keep running into each other it was time to talk. We need to be able to be in the same place without it being weird." He moves out of the way of the door and allows me in. I am taken back about home comfy it is. Dark furniture and light walls. You can tell a family lives here. I have lived in my place for almost a year and the walls are still bare, he has so many pictures lining his. Lots of him and his son, from birth until what I am assuming is recent. I move into the living room. A picture on his mantle has my attention: our prom picture. "Jake" He comes up behind me. He lays his hands on my hips.
"I put it out when I moved in. There are a few more in my bedroom. I didnt want Ethan to ask too many questions at this point. Right now he just knows you as a friend of daddy's. Figured its too complicated to explain the whole situation to a 4 year old." He chuckles.
I move away from him. He grabs my arm, pulls me close, "I am so sorry. I keep thinking about that night 5 years ago. I was so lost. I was stupid. I just didnt know how to do it all."
"Yea me too. Listen I just wanted to let you know that I'm not mad anymore. I just wanted you to know that I am happy for you and glad you got to spend the time with your son and that I am doing well. I feel like we never really discussed anything but I needed to let you know that I good with life right now. And I am sorry about Stephen the other day." I need to get it over with and get home. I don't want to end up really hashing out the last 5 years or talking about what could have happened. He lets me go at the mention of Stephen.
"You're serious about this guy? This guy is your guy huh?" He smirks. All of that and he wants to focus on Stephen.
"Yea I am. I mean he's a good guy. I am sorry how he acted the other day in the office. He is usually very professional with his clients."