13 November 2012

What the Heck?!

Ever wonder if you can do anything right? Ever go about your own business and soon find out that you offended someone? That has become my life. I am walking along, doing my own thing, and suddenly someone is upset. I honestly do not know how to fix it. I am who I am. I dont do a lot on purpose. I certainly dont try to hurt people on purpose. I have been hurt plenty in my life already and would never try to cause pain on someone.

These past few weeks though somehow, someway I find myself in those moments. Maybe it is me? Maybe I just dont see it? Maybe you should point it out to me. Maybe you should speak to me about it if I am offending you that greatly that it causes you pain.

I try to stay in my own little world, I work full time, part time, then have 2 hyper active busy girls to take care of, and deal with a busy working 3 jobs husband who when he is home we try to take advantage of the time and do family stuff. I lead a simple one, I have a small tight circle of family and friends that I talk to and I am sorry if you are not included. I really havent expanded this circle in years, a few people have come and go but seriously I talk to the same people day in and day out and do not have an issue with this.

I dont know why people are so concerned about what others do or say. It seems like a waste of time and energy to me. I know a person that was really upset with me because she was gone a few days and when she came back I didnt even knowledge she had been gone. Sorry. It was a big deal. Bigger than I could have ever imagined. I just assumed, she's back, she's better. I didnt know I had to ask how everything was, get all the details, and then frequently ask through out the day how it was going. Thank goodness I have a boss that wasnt concerned, told me to keep doing my thing (which is about 20 files a day with lots of correspondence and keeping track of lots of mail).

Lately, it seems that if you dont knowledge those but do others there are issues. I dont know why. I speak to certain people, others I dont. My focus has been on my children since Ava was born 3 years ago. Everyone else can wait a minute. Life is busy, I have those that are involved, those that help, and then those that I only see on holidays or at family events. Sorry, again.

I have a small circle at work. I do not share much of my life with many here. Gossip and rumors are for the birds. I try not to put myself in those situations. I was raised to be honest, no matter how much it hurts. My father has always said "you can forget a lie, but you cannot forget the truth, well because it is the truth, it happened, you dont have to keep track of the lie that never happened'. He raised me, along with my mother to be honest, to be straight forward. I know some people cant handle that. Some people were maybe sheltered from the truth, catered to by family members, or just think everything they do is the best thing ever. Sorry, it isnt, you arent, and I will be the person to tell you. Not to upset you but to keep you in reality.

My husband, GOD bless him, does still love me despite this personality of mine. He's dealt with the blunt of my ways.

I think the reason some times I am put in those situations, is because I dont baby adults. You were a baby years ago, you are off your mommas hip, grow up and take life as it hands you the good, bad, and ugly. There are times for sympathy, for hugs, and taking care of your family in time of need. But I dont respond to hissy fits, I dont care of 'look at me, look at me', and I dont deal with temper tantrums. Why? Because you are an adult, you need to face facts, reality, and deal with it.

There's a little saying my team says about someone whining, crying, complaining at work 'Put on your big girls panties'

So now that the holidays are upon us, I am focusing on my family, the gatherings, and the kids. Well see what else comes my way, I seem to always be in the middle of something, even though I dont want to be. It will all work itself out, it will all be okay, and I will continue my life the way I have been doing it for almost 29 years.

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