20 May 2012

Love Can Build a Bridge


Last night I attended with my girls the Mother/Daughter Banquet our church holds every year for us. It is a really  nice program that celebrates our moms. When I started going with my mother in law, I was pregnant with Ava, now here we are with our 2 girls.

Last night the wonderful ladies that were guest singers, sang "Love Can Build a Bridge", I love this song, it usually doesnt have any effect on me but last night it almost brought tears. Here I am sitting with my girls, with my mother in law, sister in law, aunts, cousins, friends, and I am missing my Nanny.

My Nanny will never meet my girls, even though I hope she is shining down on them everyday. I hope she sees how beautiful they are, how aggravating Ava is (she would laugh at her and make her more spoiled), and see how much fun they have. I dont know why this song took me there, but it did.

I looked around the room, looked at all the women and thought how my mother would never sit with her mother. She has been gone for 7 years, a long time, seems like yesterday we were visiting her while she sat in her bed, all bones, some days she would have lively conversation, some days we just sat there with her.

I always think about about her, find myself talking to her sometimes, but think of her more, miss her more in the summer time. We would spend full summers over her house. We lived there as much as mom and dad would allow us. We grew up with a close nit of friends (all neighbors of my nanny) and played all day long. She allowed mom to get a break from us. I hope my kids are as close with their nanny (my mom) as we were with ours. She really knew how to spoil us and let us get our way.

So last night was a little emotional however with the girls there was no time to let it soak in. I just moved on as usual when I get stuck in those thoughts. Just as Nanny would probably want it. I never saw her too emotional herself, she was just Nanny. She was either happy or not. So I took a deep breath and went back to looking at my girls, being thankful for what I have in my life.

Thankful for the ladies in my life. My mom and my sisters, my mother in laws and sister in law. I am surrounded by strong women and can go to them for a lot. My girls will grow hearing stories of their great grandma (Nanny) and her wild days and how she loved us. They will get to see pictures of how beautiful she was.