20 January 2022

I Like To Write:: Have I Mastered the Art of Living? Probably Not.


Ever feel like this quote is a slap in the face. Like seriously, I know you can give and give and most of the time you don't even think about the 'expecting anything back' but dang it sometimes you want something back. I have always had a small circle and sometimes I think of making it even smaller. 

I just hate being felt like I am being taken advantage of or just not thought about. Its hard to balance how much you do for others when it just isn't brought back to you. It really is a bother when you think so much of others and when it comes down to it, you really aren't on their radar of being thought of from them. Make sense? Maybe not, I am rambling, but these thoughts just run through my head sometimes. I have been able to count on one person this past year out of the household. Thankfully we care about each others kids as our own and we make sure they are taken care of. We are checking on each other's mental health and doing little things that don't seem like much but mean a lot. 

I won't stop reaching out and helping, I won't stop offering, and I won't stop being me, but when did people just stop caring. Maybe they never cared and I am just getting it. I was taken advantage of hard one time and it just seems like I never learn. People have selfish natures, heck there are times I myself am very selfish, but I would never allow someone to keep doing for me without feeling like I should pay them back somehow, even with a simple Thank You. 

I don't know I am just over people. People who will take and take, and expect you to always be there to help but don't seem to see that sometimes you need some help also. But with the above quote, I will try to remember that I am the one that chooses to help, I am the one that doesn't say no, and I need to remember that I shouldn't expect anything in return. Just doing what is right in my heart is what I should be doing.