Times Like These:
I wish I worked harder to promote my blog
I wish I already had a job that allowed me to work from home
I wish I was established enough reviewing to make a little money from it
I wish I had more followers and sponsors
I wish I could write all the ideas into my head for great books and they actually sold
I wish I could support my family in a better way instead of depending on a company that doesn't care
I wish I could spend all day writing instead of working at a desk for someone else
I wish I could spend all day reading great books from great authors
I wish I could have a more flexible means to support my family
I wish I could be independently wealthy enough to not worry during times like these
All good thoughts. All good wishes. I love my job and time away from the house. I love that I am educated enough to have a job that pays me well. I love my immediate supervisor and her support. However right now I am angry. Angry over the fact that I am going to an unclean building, to an unclean cubical (until I clean it), and have to breath the air of people who may not be showing symptoms but could easily have this dangerous lung eating disease.
I love my blog, sometimes I wish I spent more time working to promote it. What would it be like to have thousands of people waiting for me to post? What would it be like to have these great ideas and thoughts that just flow out? What would it be like to make a living just writing your thoughts, opinions, and the reviews. I will never know. I do know though that I will never allow myself to make the company I work for make me feel worthless. I will not give them that power. I am frustrated. Frustrated over the fact that everyone is using the word 'flexible' except my company. I am just hearing 'no, no, no'. I am flabbergasted over the fact that small mom and pop shops are caring for their employees and have means to work from home when we are all in limbo right now. How can a country that prides itself on being the best at everything always seem to fail their people?
I am not the greatest with words. I keep thinking maybe someday someone will read this and think, man she is a great writer, why doesn't she do this full time? Then I think man, full time with my thoughts, really? I love that I have an outlet though. Maybe no one will ever read this, but my words are out of my system. My thoughts are running on this page and running out of my head. Maybe that will help me sleep. Maybe I won't go into work and be a complete bitch. One way or another, I still have to go, still do the career I love doing even if the people above me don't think it's important to stay home for the time being. I am essential. At least that's what I am being told.